To Whom it May Concern,

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The Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in New York City is a hallowed ground, full of iconic figures out of the present and the past, both real and fictional, brought to life via wax creation. Because of this, needless to say, I was surprised to learn that a statue of actor Paul Giamatti was nowhere to be found. Surely his presence is at least as wanted, as needed, as deserved as fellow wax figures Jenna Marbles, Yasser Arafat, Bruce Willis, and E.T. 

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If you must exclude from your hall of Presidents the United States’ second leader, John Adams, then I invite you to investigate the significance of the actor who (so brilliantly) portrayed Mr. Adams in HBO’s seminal mini-series…Mr. Paul Edward Valentine Giamatti. 

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In a world so sharply divided by comb overs and pantsuits, so over-saturated by vampires and Avengers, so disconcertingly pre-occupied with Kardashians and Meme Queens, one man stands alone in a crowded room—only figuratively for now, because as previously mentioned, his wax statue has yet to be erected. 

Precisely what makes Mr. Giamatti so iconic is his flawless ability to effortlessly blend into any and all settings and situations. Which room would you place him in? Whatever’s convenient for you! He could successfully masquerade as Beyonce’s cutthroat agent (a la his role as Marty Wolf in 2002’s Big Fat Liar). If an additional character is needed for a Disney themed showing, who could forget Paul’s notable turn as Ralph the chauffeur in 2014’s Saving Mr. Banks (a performance that will not soon be written out of history, of this much I am sure). If you have a lost child in the museum, simply position said child next to wax Paul Giamatti, creating the illusion of a loving father standing casually next to his offspring, while you wait for the real parents to claim their lost property. 

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Of course, none of this is to imply that Mr. Giamatti could not star as the central attraction in a room all to himself; that he could! His is the face your customers will remember as they exit the museum and continue about their days. Wondering to themselves, “I swear I’ve seen him in something, but what?” “HBO’s John Adams was so good, does 1776 deserve a Broadway revival?” and “How incredible is it that Paul Giamatti starred in San Andreas and Straight out of Compton in the same calendar year! Madame Tussauds, I wholeheartedly agree with your decision to reward an actor of such breadth, talent, and humility a spot in your museum.” 

Dare to be different Madame Tussauds. Please, consider Paul.

 

Cordially (and with a great deal of respect and appreciation for what you people do),

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[Your name here]